In 1976, guitarist Moris Tepper joined Captain Beefheart’s Magic Band and became part of an era rich with musical experimentation and boundary-pushing artistry. During this time, Tepper received what would become one of the most iconic pieces of offbeat musical advice in rock history: “The Ten Commandments of Guitar Playing,” written by Don Van Vliet—better known as Captain Beefheart.
This whimsical and surreal list of “commandments” captures the spirit of Beefheart’s unorthodox approach to music and creativity. While these rules might not appear in any standard music theory curriculum, they reflect a deeper philosophy—one rooted in intuition, raw emotion, and a near-mystical relationship with the instrument.
Beefheart’s “commandments” suggest that music is not just about technical skill, but about being present, listening deeply (especially to birds), and creating from a space beyond intellect. His humorous and poetic advice—like “practice in front of a bush” or “never point your guitar at anyone”—pushes players to abandon rigid rules in favor of personal, almost spiritual expression.
This list, originally featured in Rolling Stone’s Alt-Rock-A-Rama and later reproduced in The Guardian, remains a cult favorite among guitarists, particularly those drawn to improvisation, avant-garde styles, or simply the joy of musical play.
To view the original list in full, you can read it on The Guardian’s website or consult Alt-Rock-A-Rama, where it first appeared in print.
Posted by Grosse Pointe Music Academy Staff
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HAHAHA. Funny article not what I expected. But despite the humor, there were some relevant points made. Thanks for the read and the laugh.
Personally, I would have added, “Thou shalt not tune a short scale guitar down to C.” Or… ‘Thou shalt not leave your guitar in a car on a hot day.” How about, “Thou shalt take good care of one’s instrument and change the strings regularly, having a setup done twice a year.” This seems like a missed opportunity to really give some good solid advice about the instrument. Things like, “Thou shalt always keep an extra set of strings in one’s case” probably should have been included. Captain Beefheart was a great musician, though. It was sad to lose him at the end of 2010.
Haha Dave that’s really funny. I think people may actually listen to you and take care of their guitar if they are written as commandments!
One would certainly hope so. There are too many players who neglect their instruments. It doesn’t matter to me how the message gets out. I just hope that one day they will realize the importance of proper care and maintenance.